forever

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ectasy but do not love, I am nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If i speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I do not love, I am nothing. If I give everything to the poor and even go to the stake as a martyr, but I do not love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I am bankrupt without love.”

-1 Corinthians 13

the weekend

Crashed on the floor when I moved in

This little bungalow with some strange new friends

Stay up too late, and I'm too thin

We promise each other it's till the end



Now we're spinning empty bottles, it's the five of us

With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust

I can't resist the day

No, I can't resist the day



Jenny screams out and it's no pose

'Cause when she dances she goes and goes

Beer through the nose on an inside joke

And I'm so excited, I haven't spoken



And she's so pretty, and she's so sure

Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her

The summer's all in bloom

The summer is ending soon



It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone

But I hold on to secrets in white houses



Maybe I'm a little bit over my head

I come undone at the things he said

And he's so funny in his bright red shirt

We were all in love and we all got hur



My first time, hard to explain

Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain

On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think

He's my first mistake



Maybe you were all faster than me

We gave each other up so easily

These silly little wounds will never mend

I feel so far from where I've been



So I go, and I will not be back here again

I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses

I lie, put my injuries all in the dust

In my heart is the five of us in white houses



And you, maybe you'll remember me

What I gave is yours to keep in white houses

In white houses

American Honey

She grew up on a side of the road
Where the church bells ring and strong love grows
She grew up good
She grew up slow
Like American honey

Steady as a preacher
Free as a weed
Couldn't wait to get goin'
But wasn't quite ready to leave
So innocent, pure and sweet
American honey

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowin' in the wind
Callin' out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summertime
And American honey

Get caught in the race
Of this crazy life
Tryin' to be everything can make you lose your mind
I just wanna go back in time
To American honey, yea

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowin' in the wind
Callin' out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summertime
And American honey

Gone for so long now
I gotta get back to her somehow
To American honey

Ooh There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowin' in the wind
Callin' out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothin's sweeter than summertime


sometimes, only music can say how I feel.
school is hard but ending. saying goodbye.....so bittersweet. summer is good....i think?

sweet and low

Anywhere you go, anyone you meet
Remember that your eyes can be your enemies
I said hell is so close, and heavens out of reach,
But I ain't giving up quite yet,
I've got too much to lose.

Hold me down, sweet and low little girl
Hold me down, sweet and low and I will carry you home,
Hold me down, sweet and low little girl
Hold me down, and i'll carry you home.

The rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine
The wind is gonna blow, the waters gonna rise
She said, when that day comes look into my eyes
But no ones giving up quite yet, we've got too much to lose.

And i'll carry you all the way
When you say you're fine
But you're still young and out of line,
When all I need's to turn around
To make it last, to make it count,
I ain't gonna make the same mistakes
That put my mama in her grave
I don't wanna be alone.


this song totally sums up how i feel at the moment.

oh how i have so much to say and so many stories to share especially from this past weekend. but alas, there is not enough time in the world. i have to write a show critique and then bed.
more to come soon.

Organic Acting

organic.....natural.
am i to take on a more natural role with a character?
stanislavski....an acting genus. the man that made acting an art.
am i to take on stanislavki's inner truth technique?
objective....what the character wants.
what does this character want?

im beginning to see the art of acting. i hatw how acting is so.......forgotten about in this society. its all the ritz and glamour of musicals. don't get me wrong, i love musicals. i love music and dance oh so much. but in the end we must remember that theatre used to be the acting sense not the spectacle.

but the beauty of grace is that it make life not fair.....

oh life....you are so bittersweet sometimes.

I really have nothing to say. Im still a college student. I'm still trying to become a better actor with each class. I still go to a school with a dress code and alot of rules. I'm still working at camp this summer.....but as lead Girls Counselor...woop woop! I still long for adventure and I still cannot sit still for too long.
Becoming a teacher is on my mind more. Im pretty sure i still want to do it but I get overwhelmed at the thought.

God is so working in me. Its a wonderful thing when you can wake up and know that you have done all you can to be closer to God before the last. Its an up and down day to day thing but its so real now. Its not emotion nor a thought.....its real. Don't get me wrong, there's still oh so much that God needs to work in me and so much of it I haven't given up yet but im growing.

I feel so loved sometimes when i don't deserve it. I'm not necessarily talking about God. I mean yes, I don't deserve anything with God and he still gives more than i can imagine but I'm talking more about this world. There's so less people in my life than there were in high school. I have friends on the hall, some other random LU people, like 4 other beach people, and then the closer 6 friends in my life. But truthfully I feel more loved than ever This is becasue these few people take me for me. And when I do try to be, not myself, these people see it.


Im still ready for adventure. Somewhere new and different doing something new and different. I need to never be comfortable.
I need an adventure.

yah....thats all I really have to say.

well you might be a bit confused, and you might be a little bit bruised.....

the wonderful world of dakota presents.....

ok so live is good i guess. same old classes and schedule. im working big river. getting to know alot of the theatre kids....which is good considaring im going to be working with them for a while. its all so exausting.

almost every significant person in my life I feel is going through something difficult. some of them are experiencing pretty major pains...hardships that affect many more people than just themselves. i understand that everyone goes throgh struggles but idk.....its just weird and it brings me down when i dont know how to help.

i still so badly want to do something big. adventure. like you have noooo ideaaaaa. i want to travel. im getting antsy with every week that passes. im pretty sure im not supposed to ever be in one place for too long.....ever. mabie im supposed to be a missionary...although i can hardly understand my own culture let alone a foreign one.

im broke, no car, my teeth are coming in in the back and it hurts.....wisdom teeth i guess, stressed, i hate doing lighting, restless, annoyed with alot. im sick of snow and rain.

...and yet, I am not distressed. Rain makes stuff grow. And I think that growth really is worth the annoyance...and that's really all that these instances have been. Annoyances. I know that though the emotions I feel are valid (frustration, sadness), I really am quite fortunate that the biggest complaints I have are really so miniscule in light of the bigger picture of things. Though maybe the past few days have been challenging, God has been giving me so so so much grace, reminding me of His goodness, of His mercy, and His reckless, extravagent, encompassing love for me. Before I even entered into this world, each of my days were established and recorded by Him (Psalm 139). Because of the Lord's great love for ME, I will not be consumed. I will not be overwhelmed. His compassions for me are new every single day (Lam. 3:22-23). I'm focusing on the promises, rather than the problems. Rain makes stuff grow. So...

...bring on the rain!